A Pipe is Born!

An old book that smelled old

Not too long ago, upon returning home to my apartment after work I found a little gift from heaven wedged between my screen door and wall. A small package from the Pilgrims of Pleiades themselves! Huzzah, what could it be? Such excitement.

I tore into the package and discovered inside a thoughtfully written birthday postcard and a book all about pipes and pipe smoking. Thanks guys!

An old book, Weber’s Guide to Pipes and Pipe Smoking by Carl Weber (and Illustrated by Charles Fellows), was good nonetheless and I read it with aplomb in one sitting! What thoughful countrymen and women the hooligan pilgrims are, to assist me in rekindling my old love and desultory daliance into the world of pipes and pipe smoking. I have, afterall,  adopted the moniker of Pipe Adams.

Indeed.

Reprinted in 1973, the original 1962 tome describes the hobby and art of pipe smoking from top to bottom. Mr. Weber will guide you through the history of tobacco cultivation, the evolution of piping from the European discovery of the tobacco plant until today, different materials and methods used in pipe production, the differences between tobacco types, the process of picking and choosing the right pipe for you, and strategem for lighting and keeping your pipe lit. A photo spread detailing pipe making, titled “A Pipe is Born” is a source of particular delight! For of course, just like all living creatures -pipes are not made, they are born!


Pipe smoking is a wonderful and sacred art that the hooligan iconoclast can relish and enjoy both for its medicinal and relaxing qualities but also for the fact that it is an extraordinarily unpopular pursuit. Any young hoodlum caught puffing away on a pipe is bound to provoke consternation and confusion in even the most fashionable of hipsters. That is the hooligan way. Of course, it is only a matter of time before the Williamsburghers are puffing away on trust fund bought meerschaums and waxing their handlebar mustaches.

Perhaps while tooling around on penny farthings?

No irony is too great for these people.

Thats fine.

While I am an iconoclast through and through and my personality (defect) prohibits me to enjoy any pursuit if others deem it to be fashionable or ironic, know that I’ll still be puffing away on my pipe from now until eternity.

Pipe Adams came first and is the ultimate authority on pipes for his generation.

If hipsters want to know anything about pipes they can ask me.

For instance, did you know that at European pipe smoking competitions, it is nom de rigeur for contestants to scream at the top of their lungs while smoking their pipes?

Of course you did.

And for those of you in the know, I need not tell you about the dark side of piping.

But as for the rest of you…

stay tuned.

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2 responses to “A Pipe is Born!

  1. I read your will and last statement and am concerned to know, to whom will your pipe collection be entrusted upon should you (pause) , “go up in smoke?”

  2. General Parker. They will be shipped to Japan

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