Mother of all Beer Reviews

Long Hammer IPA by Red Hook Brewery, Seattle: 6.5% abv. What I crave is a delicious beer with bite. Long Hammer delivers, and in a cute lil’ bottle no less. Cool bottle, and I like the label. As noted many posts and many moons ago, perception is an integral part of the drinking experience and no one should want to decant a beer from a disharmonious bottle into their gullet. Best to drink your hoppy Long Hammer IPA from a tin cup beside Diablo Lake in North Cascades National Park ONLY.

Rogue Yellowstone Ale: Tasty and delicious and a great treat for one’s first night in Yellowstone. A tad bit wimpy to be bearing such a name. Give me something strong to test my senses! A powerful ale I need! Yet really, the taste can’t be beat by many. Tasty but delicate. Too subdued.

Grand Teton Brewing Company’s Old Faithful Ale: Tasty. A definitive microbrew. Doesn’t try to be more than it claims to be (which is refreshing in some regards, but where is it’s passion!?), which is a tasty and delicious ale. Best enjoyed around a roaring campfire in Yellowstone National Park with good company while discussing wolves.

New Belgium 1554 Enlightened Black Ale: Finally, a beer worthy of Yellowstone. Sourced from a fellow camper and beer enthusiast, this dark and heavenly ale is rich, and dark indeed! Black as night! A powerful brew no doubt, one for the ages and sages. A beautiful bottle begets a beautiful brew. A delightful and carefully crafted backstory on the label informs the drinker and delights the traveller. Cheers!

Bitter Root Brewing’s Nut Brown Ale: *yawn*move it along folks, nothing to see here. Yet another delicious craft beer that goes great with an Elk burger. Tasty and delicious, yet wholly uninspiring. Nut Brown sounds gross as a name also.

 

New Belgium Fat Tire: Pleasing and as described via label. Good. Tasty even. Never been much of a fan of amber ales. Sadly, this one will not make me become one. But hey, it’s good and I’d have another if pressed. Enjoy it in your tent during a thunderous rainstorm but know that it won’t fix that leak.

Grand Teton Bitch Creek: Sometimes you’re up Bitch Creek without a paddle. Remember, you had to burn it to stay warm? Not a bad brew. Helps inject a little humor into a funky situation, when you’re mopping up puddles in your tent.

Big Sky Brewing Moose Drool Brown Ale: Bottle features a moose drooling, which is kind of gross. I hate these cute names. Typical brown ale microbrew. Regrettably uninspiring.

Montana Trout Dancing Trout: eh, is all. Had at the Silver Mill Saloon in Philipsburg, MT. I think their taps need a cleaning.

Kettle House IPA: Had @ the same. Taps definitely need a cleaning. But it’s hot and the manboy needs a beer. Cools a man off in this heat.

Pyramid Hefeweizen: “With the artistry of our brewing, we’ve created in every bottle an adventure worth sharing with friends.” As if. Tastes like no Hefeweizen I’ve ever sipped. More like Bud. Which is fine by me really, depending on mood. Goes well with teepees in Washington state. If and only if.

Rogue Dead Guy Ale: Oregon brewed. A brilliant reddish hue gives way to a really brilliant beer. Very weird, subtle, and tasty hints of creamy goodness, like a Guiness, but lighter and amber in hue. Goes down smoother than air. Milky almost. A hint of Bailey’s Irish Cream? – Looking back, I remember this as the best beer of the trip thus far. Absolutely splendid. A really complex taste, yet totally enjoyable. Set and setting were more than perfect under the waning sun reflecting off the turquoise waters of Diablo Lake.

New Belgium Trippel: “Trippel Ale brewed with Coriander” whatever that is, some sort of spice I imagine. Should I know what that is, as a man? A real fruity smell in this one. True fruity taste. Is this a Hefeweizen? Must be. Vague hint of…coffee? Or is that coriander? A real challenge. Excellent brew.

Pike Brewing Pike IPA: definitive IPA that pleases the palette. A non-risk taking brew. Nothing extraordinary. Just a good ol’ IPA.

Portage Bay Pilsner: Pretty fucking good beer man. A REAL treat for the nose. And the buds for that matter. Lovable and delicious. Drink and be merry in Seattle.

Elysian IPA: A good IPA no doubt, but that aforementioned Pilsner sends the heart aflutter. I grow tired of these IPAs! I am, always and forever, a Pilsner boy! Everyone and their brother crafts and IPA, but where have all the Pilsners gone? C’mon man, don’t fuck with me!

Alaskan Amber: An appropriate choice for the tease that is Hyder Alaska. A good beer and I’ll have another, but as noted earlier I just can’t get into amber beers man. Is Dead Guy Ale considered an Amber beer? I dont know. Goes good with a shot of grain alcohol at the Glacier Inn in Hyder Alaska.

Olympia “It’s the Water” Indeed. A shelf beer undeserving of a critical review. You know what you’re getting into so don’t expect much. Fits the bill in Fairbanks. Best drunk under the waning northern sun in August in Igor and Sveta’s wall tent. Enjoy with boiled moose, fermented walrus, or whale blubber.

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4 responses to “Mother of all Beer Reviews

  1. great tacos today Jake!

  2. I bought Dead Guy Ale from the Mobil in New Paltz one time and LOVED it. I always look for it in beer distributers on LI but Ihave never been able to find it again! Truly unfortunate for me, but I am glad to hear you enjoyed it as well.

  3. Too bad the Rogue Yellowstone Ale and Dead Guy are the same beer: http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/rogue-yellowstone-ale/54086/

  4. …man I can’t, neigh won’t, believe it! Set and setting baby…

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