Florida and Beyond

The following travelogue denotes a first ever moto-adventure, astride the legendary CB500T no less:
In March of 2008, one adventurous and lucky boy embarked upon a journey that would see him and his 1975 CB500T (a gift from fellow boy adventurer and hooligan Marlo) from New York to Florida!
Skyline Drive at first light!

They usually charge one $10 to ride the Drive. Unless of course if you are a hooligan boy adventurer! And if that’s the case, they really should be paying you…

Garbage bag contains egg crate sleeping roll. Such is not water resistant.

The morning was cold, painfully so.

And here’s a tip for other enterprising vintage motorcycling enthusiasts: Place your gloves on the exhaust cans to warm ’em up, but keep your eye on ’em aye! Lest they burn.
Out of the mountains and into the plains, for March in the Shenandoah’s is too cold (even for non-reptilian warm-blooded hooligans filled with the warmth of adventure in their souls)!
A can of red bullion, a lip of dip, and a freight train rumbling past. No moment is sweeter friends.
Roanoke VA: A quick chat with the effeminate caretaker of the Roanoke visitors center yielded some recently declassified intel. This is not the same Roanoke of “CROATOAN” fame but a town founded by the railroad.
Bleu-cheese burger for hungry souls.
Beware the bums of Roanoke.
They say the city’s in an upswing, with lots of young eager beavers moving in to sow and reap…but we’ve heard that before.
.Trust no onE.
Fueling up somewhere in Virginia…
Clean enough. Adventure minded souls do not always care so much about cleanliness. There are more important things to worry about.

The fabulous Blue Ridge Parkway and its sights. An American jewel. Not an American Werewolf in London.

A paradise for Marlo’s dad. Indeed!

All fabulous young boyz need their sleep, and our hooligan is no different.
Boone NC
Why would Pipe Adams bring his weightlifting belt to Boone NC? A mystery for the ages! (and sages)

CB500T and helmet: resplendent and beyond decadence in the southern sun.

Headlight on means the CB is running. There is not enough time to linger. There is never enough time! All hooligans must keep on their feet! Mach Schnell amigos!

The world is big…but for some it is too small. The world is not enough.

Little Switzerland Downtown, in the Carolinian mountains.
Beware travellers! Secure your canteens! For in this alpine town, it will cost you 17 Ameros to replace one. (Our featured traveller did not bite, mind you. But knowing him, you already knew that)
Road 226A and another caution: Failure to navigate this road correctly will lead to death. 226A was recently billed on this blog as “The Most Dangerous Road in America”
(please note however: Central America is a different story altogether)
No more pictures. You can, will, must experience it for yourself.
Boots and Bike. No oil drips. A well-made machine. 90% of hooligans concur. The rest be damned.
Tent city in Smoky Mountain National Park. And another tip to all you Astral Planers: Never smoke Salvia Divinorum in Smoky Mountain National Park, or even brew a tea out of it.
An Alfred E. Newman/clown hybrid lives there and he DOES NOT LIKE YOU.
You have been warned.
Pancakes in the early light
Richard Karn and his son Richard Karnson leave cryptic writings in the frost. They are with us. Always and forever. What does it mean? We are all richer for it.

SMNP is a cold foreboding place. A national park on a lark? Sure, all hooligans are experience junkies aren’t they? Added caveat: Dollywood is right next door!

Fact: Tennessee is where God lives.
It is a wonderful state.
The knoxville sunsphere megalith harnessing the earth’s natural vibrational energy. We can still teach a few things to the Atlanteans eh!

…or Tesla Death Ray?

The hooligans know.
Hotlanta GA
Footwear of another Hostellion. A foot fetishist once told the author that the feet are the window to the soul. Sure.
All hooligans are aware of a race of creatures that reside in hostels. They are indolent and slothful in nature. They are descended from reptillian bloodlines and not to be trusted. Do not smoke their pot or accept anything from them. They will expect something greater in return. You have been warned.
FACT: All hooligans love bums. Treat them well on your travels and you will be repaid karmically. Give them gifts of beer, food, and cigarettes. This is an incontrovertible law and must be followed.
Hooligans know this but please, choose your bums wisely friends.
Ponce De Leon Hostel. Remember to tip the autistic chatterbox who lives there. (There’s one in every hostel!)

Nu-Way Weiner stand in Macon GA
Strong positive vibrations can be felt in Macon GA. Plans are being drawn for a superpyramid there.

Chili-dog under sun-dappled southern skies. There are things in life that are still good. Get it all in while you can, before the end of days.

On the Georgia-Florida Parkway few gifts were to be had at the Pecan gift shop. The gift is the hooligan presence. Our traveller knew this but the staff were unaware. “Of what kind are the many trees that line the road for miles, that stretch as far as one can see to the horizon?” Silly hooligan, they are Pecan trees!
Florida is where Uncle Frankie lives. Pictured here is Florida on first entry.

Apalchicola National Forest Mudstuck

Dig yourself out like a mole, but don’t forget your bandana, bandido!

Temperature next morning in Tallahassee recorded as 270 degrees Kelvin.

Along the Floridian panhandle and Florida’s forgotten coast.

Freshly cut cedar. A treat for the nose!

Country-fried steak sandwiches are a treat for any boy-adventurer!

Fact: Uncle Frankie is a man among men.

Dinsinfo: Uncle Frankie lives in a cloud castle in the sky.
Uncle Frankie takes good care of his hooligan nephews. He chauffeurs them around in his chariot of the gods!

Life is all just a dog and pony show aint it?

Hooligan bulge:

Dunedin Beach, FL

The oldest beach in America

St. Augustine FL

The oldest town in America

Obelisk harnessing the earth’s energy in St. Augustine. The CB500T’s fuel consumption dropped dramatically in and around the obelisk.

Fact: All hooligans have big dicks

Disinfo: 9/11 was not an inside job
11 out of 10 hooligans prefer Waffle House to any other house

Worlds tallest mixed race humanoid:

That is all. This adventure has ended but survives in other universes.

There will be more adventures, each with their own unique triumphs and tragedies and individual universes.
Stay tuned…
-Ryder Strong


One response to “Florida and Beyond

  1. # of times i laughed outloud while reading this = 5

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